Cuffs
by Ultra-Geek
Summary: Logan and Scott’s rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.
1. Prank war

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **Somewhere after X2, Jean's alive. Haven't seen X3, so…yeah.

It was war.

That was the only way to describe it. A childish, idiotic, and horribly amusing war. That is, unless you got caught in the crossfire.

It had started innocently enough. All it took was a slip of glue into a certain mutant's shampoo, and the rest as they say, is history. Some would say that the conspirator was insane. Others would counter with that he had to be very brave to attempt such a thing. They all agreed on one fact though. Scott Summers obviously had a death wish.

That was a breakfast that no one would forget.

It was normal, until a roar of rage echoed through the mansion. Everyone in the room had frozen, wondering what had ticked off the Wolverine. Scott was later reported to be stifling laughter in his pancakes. After a few minutes of complete silence, everyone went back to eating while Storm looked at the laughing Summers. "What did you do?" She had asked. Scott had shrugged with a non-committal grunt.

Then the real 'fun' started. Logan walked into the cafeteria. As he passed tables, students immediately stopped their chit chat. They all gasped at the sight of the man. He was bee lining towards the staff table. Scott got a slightly fearful look and said "If you'll excuse me." He then jumped out of his seat and walked as fast as he could. Looking behind him, he saw Logan in pursuit. He decided the hell with it, and ran for his life with a completely bald Wolverine chasing him.

It was quiet for the next few days, but everyone knew it was only the calm before the storm. Logan wouldn't take that lying down. A few nights later he was spotted sneaking down into the garage where Cyclops kept his cars. The next day when students arrived for shop class in the same garage, they were met with a livid Mr. Summers.

It appeared that someone had snuck down and painted the garage walls pink. And not just pale pink, either. It was oh-god-my-eyes-are-melting bright pink. That's when people knew. This was war, and only one thing was certain. This was going to be entertaining.

The pranks slowly started picking up pace. The next morning while Logan was showering, Scott ran in and threw all his clothes in a bag and walked out. As if on second thought, he ran into the bathroom and grabbed all the towels.

"SUMMERS!" Logan roared, watching the younger man sprint out of the bathroom. Logan, seeing as he wasn't exactly known for being overly-modest, jumped out of the shower and out the door. What he didn't expect was for Storm and Jean waiting outside with cameras, popcorn, and appreciative whistles.

So once again, the ball was passed to Logan's court. What would the prank be? When would it happen? No one knew. That same afternoon however, was when it happened. When Scott opened the door to his classroom, a bucket full of who-knows-what landed right on his head. The laughter of his students met his ears. Scott turned and watched Logan walk by. Turning back to his class and wiping some of the goop off of his glasses, he told the students. "Take this as a free period. Class dismissed."

The next morning it became clear what Scott's revenge was. Logan came down to breakfast covered from head to toe in magnets and head held high. He sat, and ate his cheerios without a sound. However, when Scott got up and went to the bathroom, Logan pulled an un-opened bottle of Tabasco sauce out of his pocket. He grabbed a glass of tomato juice and dumped the entire bottle's contents into it.

When Scott came back, the first thing he did was take a big swig of tomato juice. Everybody watched until he swallowed. "What?" Ok, Logan thought. Either his tongue is damaged or Cyke has an un-natural immunity to spicy sauces. A few seconds later, Logan got his answer when Ororoe jumped up screaming and fanning her mouth.

The rest of the day, Logan was seen with a little black rain cloud following him around. So, he decided on a more direct approach. The next day when Scott and Jean were taking a walk around the school grounds hand in hand, Logan made his move. Walking across the yard, he grabbed Jean and dipped her down into a passionate kiss. Releasing her, he looked at Scott and mock-saluted him.

Scott was rewarded when he saw a magnet still stuck to the back of Logan's neck.

But, that is when the prank went horribly wrong. Scott had rigged up a mechanism in one of the school's hallways. There was a tripwire that lay along the length of the floor. Anyone who stepped on it would instantly get a pie in the face. It was all in all, a way to complicated way to get back at Logan. Squatting behind a wall, Scott waited to see his creation at work. Finally, he heard someone coming down the hall.

"What are you doing?" Someone whispered, squatting down and peeking out the wall.

"Shh!" Scott whispered back. "It's revenge on Logan in action."

"Oh." whispered the other person. "This oughta be good. I feel bad for whoever's coming though."

"You mean Logan."

"No." Logan whispered back. "Not me."

Scott looked and saw that his hallway-visitor was in fact a grinning Canadian. A few seconds later, Jean rounded the corner pushing Charles' wheelchair. "NOOOOOOO!" Scott yelled, jumping out from his hiding spot, desperate to stop the madness.

It was too late however, and the trip wire was pulled, and a pie flew into Charles' face.

Everyone froze, and Logan's guffaws were the only thing heard. Charles took a finger and wiped some of the pie off of his face. Sticking it in his mouth, he said "At least it's not cocoanut."

Thinking that he'd gotten off easy, Scott turned to walk away. "But I'd like a word in my office with the two of you. Now." Xavier turned and wheeled away, leaving Jean, Scott, and Logan in the hall. Logan walked out from his hiding place.

Still wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Logan said "Ok! I've got a good one! Two Psychics walking down the hall…"

Groaning, Scott made his way down the hall with Logan following behind, still laughing.


	2. Work Together, Now

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **Somewhere after X2, Jean's alive.  
**AN: **I just saw X3 last night and…GAH! Just...GAH! They killed...how could...AHHHH!  
Ok. I'm done ranting now.

"Sit down, both of you." Xavier said, pointing to the chairs. He had a towel and was wiping the pie off of his face. Putting the towel down, he looked at the two men. "I know that this was all in good fun, but you are grown men, and this has gone far enough." Xavier pulled something out of his desk. It appeared to be a pair of handcuffs. Logan couldn't help but wonder why he had those.

The professor looked at the two again. They were suddenly motionless. They weren't aware of this, though. Smiling almost evilly, the professor went to Scott, and connected one of the ends to his wrist, and put the other around Logan's. He went back behind his desk and waited to see the outcome.

When they moved again, Scott jerked to the side at the sudden feeling of metal on his wrist. That, in turn, caused Logan to nearly fall out of his chair. They both looked at the handcuffs, and then at the professor, then back at the 'cuffs.

Finally, Charles said "I will remove the handcuffs once you two learn to get along. In the meantime, I suggest you two work something out." And he went back to his work.

Logan looked at Xavier incredulously. Did he really think that a pair of handcuffs could hold the Wolverine?

"And yes, Logan." Xavier said, picking up on Logan's rebelious thought. "I do expect them too. After all, it's quite hard to break adamantium, wouldn't you agree?"

Logan just stood up, causing Scott to stand as well, and left the room. Only, when they got to the door, Scott tried to go left, and Logan went right. And seeing as Logan was considerably stronger than Scott, he got dragged to the right right behind him.

The two went down to the garage, and set to work on getting the cuffs off. First, Scott attempted to blast them apart with his optic laser vision. On the tenth or eleventh try, Logan's claws popped out, and he began to saw away at them.

This is when Storm entered the scene.

"Now that's something you don't see everyday." She commented. The two X-men glared at her. If looks could kill, the X-men would be a member short at that time. Even though she was thoroughly intimidated by the glares focused completely on her, she started to laugh. And even though she tried, she just couldn't stop giggling.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Logan grumbled. "You know you could do something other than laugh."

"Like what?" Storm giggled. She couldn't help it.

"I don't know. Maybe blast the damn thing?"

"Yeah, Logan. Get her to fry us."

"No one asked you, Summers."

"Hello? I'm the one cuffed to you!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"YOURS!"

"Prove it."

"BOYS!" Storm yelled. They both snapped up to look at her, shocked into silence by the uncharacteristic outburst from Storm. "Even if I could help you, I wouldn't. This is way too funny. But…"

"But what, Storm?" Scott said in his scariest leader voice.

"What was that, Cyke?" Logan asked. "Was that supposed to be intimidating?"

"Idiot."

"Jerk."

"Loser."

"Arrogant suck up."

"Wow, I'm impressed! A word longer than two syllables!"

"Will both of you just _shut up?_" Storm yelled, once again shocking them into silence. "As I was saying, but the professor gave everyone orders to not interfere, and that you two had to work together in order to achieve your goal."

Logan and Scott simultaneously groaned.

And Storm walked away laughing. Logan looked at Scott, and Scott looked back at Logan. "Is she a record of a cheesy inspirational show or something?"

"I know!" Scott agreed. "Work together to achieve your goal?"

After a second, they realized that they had just agreed with each other.

"Never happened?" Logan asked.

"You got it." And they both tried to walk away in separate directions, and…

Well, I don't really need to tell you how that ended up, do I?


	3. Nighty Night

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**AN: **Saw X3 again, did anyone else stay through the credits? That pretty much squashed any hope that I had for a fourth movie. Cause if there was going to be another one that would've been in the movie wouldn't it?

This chapter is mostly dialogue.

Anyways, on with the story!

Logan had been through a lot in his day. He'd been through car crashes, bar fights, an almost plane crash, a collapsing dam, getting the life sucked out of him twice, and he'd come out on top in all of those situations. Hell, he survived escaping from a high security government facility minutes after having boiling hot liquid adamantium pumped into his body and welded to his bones by an overzealous southern yahoo who attempted to destroy all mutant kind.

But given the choice of what he was facing now, Logan would've preferred another round with the overzealous yahoo.

"We have to sleep Logan"

"No. No we don't. We can stay up all night, drink beer, bond, whatever."

"Bond? You're desperate aren't you?"

"Damn straight."

"Logan, we have training tomorrow and I don't want to be falling asleep in the middle of a fight!"

"Cyke, its _Magneto _training. All that means is that I get to spend a couple hours as a living magnet." Logan held up his hand that was connected to the 'cuffs. "And you see these? They say you get to be a keychain to the magnet."

"I have to teach class tomorrow." Scott grumbled. "The kids will know right away, and it'll be hell. And guess what? You'll be right there, because you see these? They say that you get to be Teacher's Assistant tomorrow."

"Look, Scooter, even if I agreed to this, where would we go? 'Cause there's no way in hell that you're going to sleep in my bed. Do you want to go in you and Jeannie's room?" Logan got a sly smile. "On second thought, let's go there…"

"You're sick, you know that?"

"And I'm damn proud of it, too!"

"There are empty rooms."

"No. There is no way I'm sleeping with you, and that's final!"

No one's quite sure how it happened, but one hour later Scott and Logan were lying next to each other, staring at the ceiling of a spare room. Logan looked over at Scott. "You know that this means we're sleeping together. What are you planning to tell Jeannie?"

"Logan, Shut up."

"I knew it. You're just like all the others. You only want me for my body."

"Logan, are you deaf? Shut up!"

"All right, all right." Logan's eyes got wide for a second. "Shit." He growled.

"What?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"No."

"Uh, yeah."

"No."

Logan rolled his eyes. "You can say 'no' all you want, but it won't change the fact."

"Go to hell, Logan."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Rogue sat up on her bed. _Bathroom. _She walked down the hall, and was met with a very interesting sight. Mr. Summers was standing in the hall looking very pissed off, with his right hand sticking in the bathroom. Rogue blinked at him, he hadn't appeared to notice her yet. He was grumbling, and the girl's ears only picked up a few words.

"Stupid…Logan…bathroom…Now I _have_ to go…kill…Wolverine…"

"You talking to yourself, Summers?" Logan's voice came out of the bathroom.

"Will you just hurry up?"

Logan came out, and Rogue saw that a pair of handcuffs strung Mr. Summers and Logan together. She stifled a giggle. "_Finally!" _Mr. Summers said, and he went into the bathroom.

"What are you laughing at, kid?" Logan asked her.

"You." Rogue was quite possibly the only person who was never intimidated by Logan.

"I could yell at you to get back to bed."

"Then I'd just say I have to go to the bathroom."

"Then I'd say just hold it."

"I'd tell you that it's that time of the month," Rogue grinned.

"Fine, you win this round kid."

Scott came out and Rogue watched the X-men walk down the hall bickering with each other. Rogue shook her head, and went into the bathroom.


	4. This Means War

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**AN: **Nothing much to say this round. Except the fun is just beginning! _laughs evilly_

"Now, in order to solve this equation you do this," Scott demonstrated to his class. Needless to say, no one was really paying attention. They were too preoccupied with Logan, who was currently balancing a water bottle on his nose. Looking at his class and seeing what the source of their distraction was, Scott swiped the bottle away and tossed it into a corner. Logan, his key source of entertainment gone, sighed and stared out at the students. They stared right back. Rogue giggled from the back of the room and waved. "All right, does anyone have any questions?"

Naturally, given the predicament of the two adults in the front of the room, every single student's hand went up. Scott sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Bobby?"

"Why are you and Logan handcuffed together?"

"That's not important, kid." Logan grunted, glaring at him. Bobby didn't pry anymore.

"Jubilee?"

"Why is it not important?"

Scott and Logan both groaned. "Let me clarify something." Scott said. "Does anyone have any math questions?" Every hand in the room went down. "Class dismissed."

xXx

Logan and Scott were in the locker room, staring at their uniforms. "I vote that we don't change." Scott said.

"First good idea that you've had in two days."

xXx

Twenty minutes later, the two X-men were dangling from the wall of a simulated warehouse in the Danger Room. Scott was having a tough time directing the team where to go and what to do from his current position. Finally, getting frustrated beyond belief, he yelled at Logan. "How the hell do you do this!"

Logan glared as best he could at Scott. "Hey, at least you can move a little!"

"You're not helping!" Scott took in his surroundings. "Is there anyway to get down?"

"Not unless you break Magneto's concentration." As if on cue, the X-men burst into the room with Magneto, Mystique, and Pyro following close behind them. Scott put his hand to his visor. _I'm only going to get one shot at this, _he thought. Firing, the blast hit Magneto's arm, causing them both to drop to the ground.

"Nice shot." Logan said grudgingly.

xXx

Logan and Scott were sitting on a bench outside the school. Both stared at the 'cuffs, as if by will alone they could remove them. "These got to go." Logan said.

"Maybe instead of Wolverine, we should call you Captain Obvious."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Logan rolled his eyes. "Seriously, they got to go."

Scott groaned. "I know, but what…can…we…" At the exact same moment, they both spotted Kitty walking across the lawn. "KITTY!"

Kitty was quite alarmed at the sight of the mutants running towards her. She wasn't sure if she should let them catch up, act like she didn't see them, or just run away screaming in terror. Before she could decide, however, they caught up with her.

"Kitty," Scott panted, "We need you to phase us out of these."

"I-" She was interrupted by Professor Xavier's voice ringing in all three of their heads.

_Now, that would be cheating. In order to get out, you have to work together and get along. Now, if you need me, I'll be in my study. Reading._

Kitty shrugged. "Sorry," and walked away.

Logan popped the claws on his left hand and shredded a rose bush.

"Feel better?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, actually I do." Logan replied, sheathing the claws.

"Good. Cause Jean's going to kill you. That was her favorite bush."

Just then, they saw Jean coming across the lawn. Logan turned and walked away, dragging Scott along behind him. A few seconds later, Logan started to run, and Jean's shrill scream of fury followed them.

"LOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

xXx

Scott and Logan were currently sitting in a dark corner of the Library. They were both pondering the conundrum of the 'cuffs. Scott looked up suddenly, an evil little smirk on his face. "I got it!"

"Well, spit it out!"

"We're in the 'cuffs because we had a little war, right?"

"Yeah…" Logan realized where he was going with this, and got an identical evil smirk. "Summers, I didn't know you had it in you."

xXx

That night, when Xavier wheeled himself into his room, he found a note pinned to his pillow.

_Wheels,_

_If you thought that the war that started all this was bad, you got another thing coming. 'Since you are no longer compliant (not that you ever were or anything) with helping us out of these damn handcuffs, we have to other choice. My associate, Scott Summers, and I hereby declare war on Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. We will not back down until either the keys of the handcuffs are handed over or you take them off for us. Be warned, for we will do whatever it takes to get rid of the 'cuffs._

_Pleasant Dreams!_

The paper was signed with a small burn hole and three parallel slashes in Xavier's pillow.

And Xavier couldn't help but think: _What have I begun?_


	5. The Muffin

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**AN: **Well, apparently I'm not the only one who likes the idea of Scott and Logan waging war! That's a good thing, trust me! And the whole muffin thing was actually inspired by a reviewer, so…Thanks! I don't remember your name right now, but I'll say it in the next chapter.

Bobby was walking down the halls to his math class. Well, running would be a more adequate term, seeing as he was late and Mr. Summers was infamous for not tolerating tardiness. Bobby burst into the classroom. "Sorry I'm late Mr. Summers! It was…" He stopped apologizing when he realized that Mr. Summers wasn't in the room. Neither was anyone else. The only sign that anyone had been there was a note scrawled on the bulletin board.

_No Class Today._

Bobby wondered for a second. Was he allowed to do that? "No. He's not." Bobby turned to see Dr. Grey standing in the doorway.

"Uh…What's going on?" Bobby wondered.

Dr. Grey sighed and rubbed her temple. "You know how the Professor handcuffed him and Logan together?"

"The _Professor _did that? No way!"

"They've decided to wage war on the school in order to get out of them." She was wearing an expression that clearly said: They-have-both-lost-their-damn-minds. "And we can't find them anywhere. So, if you see either of them, tell Miss Monroe, the Professor, or myself."

Bobby watched as, grumbling to herself, Dr. Grey left the room. _One thing's for sure, _he thought, leaving the room, _Life as a mutant never gets dull for too long._

xXx

Rogue walked down the hall towards the lunch room. She and Bobby had a lunch date. She was quietly humming a happy tune to herself when an arm popped out of a doorway and yanked her inside. As soon as she was in, the door slammed shut. She turned and saw Logan and Mr. Summers standing there, both looking very grim.

"Uh…" What does one say in this situation? "What's going on? There's a rumor that you two started a war!"

The two men looked at each other and smiled. Rogue was starting to get just a little weirded out. "Kid, that ain't no rumor." Logan said. "And actually, we need your help."

"With what?" She asked suspiciously.

"It's not much." Mr. Summers said. He pulled a muffin out of his coat pocket. "All you have to do is give this to Storm."

"A muffin?" They both nodded. "You're fighting a war…with a muffin." Rogue couldn't help it. She started laughing. The mighty X-men handing out muffins.

"Hey, kid, this isn't just any old muffin!"

"What does it do?"

"We can't tell you that." Mr. Summers said. "If the Professor hears you thinking about what it does, then we're done before we've started."

"Nu-uh, no way, I'm not giving Miss Monroe a muffin that might kill her."

"Ok, we'll tell you this." Logan said. Mr. Summers gave him a look. "What? Cyke, I'm just going to say that it won't kill her!"

"Just give me one good reason why I should do this."

Mr. Summers smiled. "Extra Credit in my class, passing this semester…" He shrugged. "You know grade stuff."

"So if I give Miss Monroe the muffin, I get a straight pass for your class?" Math wasn't Rogue's strong point. When Mr. Summers nodded, she sighed. "Give me the muffin."

Handing it over, Logan grinned. "Ok, here's what you have to do…"

xXx

Ororo sat at the table, happily eating a sandwich. A few tables down, Bobby kept looking at his watch and muttering "Where _is _she?"

A few minutes later, Rogue came in looking _very _nervous. She walked over and put a muffin on Storm's plate. She stood there a few seconds.

"Mr. Summers says that he's sorry he forgot your birthday and got you this muffin."

"Uh…Thank you?" Ororo said. Rogue looked around furtively before saying:

"Look. I'm sorry; I'm just going to say that ahead of time, I had nothing to do with it." And, without further explanation, she walked away and joined Bobby for lunch, talking excitedly about something.

Ororo shrugged, and, even though her better judgment screamed no to, chocolate muffins were her weak point, so she took a big bite of the muffin.

And nothing happened. She set it down on her plate, and as soon as her hand was a safe distance away…

_**KAAAABOOOM!**_

The muffin exploded, covering everyone in a ten foot radius in chocolate.

xXx

"And that, Logan," Scott said, putting the remote control down and gesturing to the security monitors, "Is how you make a muffin explode."


	6. No Sleep Tonight

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**AN: **Thanks go to WritingCritter for the muffin idea! And, I may use your other suggestions…maybe. On a similar note, if anyone gets any ideas for gags and retaliations, just tell me! I'd be happy to incorporate them in! Also, some of the songs in this chapter I really like…and others…not so much.

It was the night of the morning of the muffin incident. Rogue, having been caught in the crossfire and getting her favorite shirt coated in chocolate, resolved that no matter what, she would not help those idiots with this war anymore.

Unfortunately for her, an arm shot out of a doorway again, and pulled her inside. Turning, she once again saw Mr. Summers and Logan standing there. "What do you two want?" She growled, sounding so much like Logan for a second that Mr. Summers shuddered slightly. One Logan was plenty, they _really _didn't need two.

"Relax, kid." Logan grinned. "Just wanted to congratulate you on the muffin."

"About the muffin," Rogue began. "You wrecked my favorite shirt, completely ruined my date with Bobby, and landed me with extra chores for a month!"

"Sorry for your loss." Logan replied, not really sounding sorry. "This is war, there will be casualties."

"Well I'm not part of your war any more."

"Actually," Mr. Summers said, "We do need your help with just one smallthing."

"No, no, no!" Rogue snapped, "I don't care! I will not help you!"

"Breathe, kid, breathe!" Logan cautioned. Rogue's face was getting unusually red. "All you have to do is send Kitty down here, ok?"

"That's all?"

"That's all."

When Rogue had left the room, Scott and Logan turned back to a cardboard box filled with CD's. "Which one should we do first?"

"Cher," Scott said. "Nobody likes Cher."

"Well, apparently somebody does, since they have the CD."

"Good point…"

Logan pulled out a CD and looked at it. "Cyke, I've found a winner!" Logan proudly held up N'sync: No Strings Attached.

"How'd that get in there!" Scott squeaked. He grabbed it away from Logan, who suddenly remembered a certain song playing in a certain mutant's car.

"You like N'sync, Scooter?"

"…No." Scott handed the CD back, "This will work for the first one."

Logan caught Kitty's scent and her cautious footsteps coming down the hall. Logan whipped the door open and pulled the unsuspecting girl in.

"Hello, Kitty."

xXx

It was twelve o'clock when it started. A stereo in the boy's hall started blaring 'Bye, Bye, Bye' as loud as humanly possible. Everyone shot up and covered their ears. Jean and the Professor ran into the room right as one of the room's occupants came to their senses enough to turn off the music.

"What. Happened." Jean demanded. She _really _didn't like getting woken up in the middle of the night.

"I-I don't know, Ms, I mean, D-doctor Gr-grey! Neither of us even _likes_ N'sync!"

The Professor, meanwhile, had popped the incriminating disc out. "Jean." He said. "I think you'll recognize who this belongs too."

"Scott." She seethed. Right at that moment, at the clear other end of the school, Cher's 'Song for the Lonely' began blaring.

Throughout the rest of the night, at about fifteen minute intervals and always in different rooms, assorted music was played as loud as it would go without blowing the speakers. The soundtrack of the night included: 'The Boys are Back in Town', 'Freebird', 'Sweet Child O' Mine', 'Yeah', 'Oops, I did it again', and many more. Finally, at around four AM, the music stopped, and didn't come back on.

Instead, Scott's voice somehow echoed through every room and every stereo. "Hello, kids!"

His voice was joined by Logan's. "You know, you really should be asleep, class tomorrow and all."

"Find them!" Hissed the professor.

"By now, you all probably know what's going on. And, you're probably asking yourselves, 'Why doesn't Professor Xavier just end it?'"

"Damn good question. Why don't you just ask him yourselves?"

None of the students had turned their stereos down. They were sort of curious about what the two men had to say. The Professor, Jean, and Storm, upon inspecting the stereos, found that the message was actually prerecorded.

"You can get us to stop raising hell. Just talk to Wheels, see what he says."

"Sleep tight!"

And it was silent.

xXx

Kitty jumped into her bed right as Dr. Grey came in and flicked off her stereo, taking the voice recording. As soon as the telepath was gone, she got out of bed and quickly got out of her dark clothes and into her pajamas. She hoped no one figured out that it was her who DJ'd the night away.

There'd be hell to pay then.


	7. The Figuritive Bobber

**Title: **'Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **K+ or T  
**Summery: **Logan and Scott's rivalry has come to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**AN: **Once again, I'd like to thank the lovely WrittingCritter and friend for an awesome idea. Seriously, it was too good to _not _use. You'll see what I mean. Italics in this chapter are good ol' Professor X thinking or projecting thoughts or a flash back.

"Professor Xavier! We know you're in there! Now open this door!" Jubilee's voice echoed through. She had been pounding on the door for the past half an hour. For the size of the head ache she was causing him, she might as well have been a psychic. "Peter! I need your help with something!"

_Good lord. They wouldn't knock the door down. …Would they?"_

"Prof, you got five seconds to open the door or ol' metal butt, no offense Peter, will knock your door down!"

_sigh I give up._

"Jubilee, you may come in. The door's been unlocked the entire time."

The door opened and Bobby, Peter, Rogue, and Jubilee walked in. Charles noted that Jubilee had a slightly sheepish look on her face.

"Prof, you've got some 'splaining to do!" Sing-songed Jubilee. "I didn't get any sleep last night, and neither did, well, anyone. This little cat-fight you're having with Mr. Summers and Wolvie just isn't worth it. It must be stopped!"

"What do you want me to do, Ms. Lee? Give in to their childish nonsense."

"Now did I say that?" Jubes planted one arm on her hip in a defiant gesture. "All we're asking you to do is allow us to retaliate! This isn't war; this is the enemy dropping bombs on a little fishing village with no weapons except for some bobbers and a couple of row boats!" All of the other students in the room looked a little lost and were shooting confused looks at their elected spokes-woman by now.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that."

"Prof, all we're asking is if you can, like, look the other way for a few hours. Let the fishing village hurl some bobbers without the freaky communists giving them detention."

Xavier looked at her. She looked back. For a seventeen year old girl, she was remarkably good at shielding her mind. One by one, he watched as each student squirmed slightly under his gaze. "I think that I can allow you to throw a few bobbers, Jubilee."

She grinned, and stalked out of the room, her battalion of three in her wake.

xXx

Rogue walked down the halls. She was a girl on a mission. The figurative bobber had been hurled.

"_We need a plan!" Jubilee whispered. "A way to lure them out into the open…find where they're hiding."_

_The four teens were crowded into Kitty and Jubilee's closet. "Bobby!" Peter hissed. "Your foot is in my eye!"_

"_Sorry."_

"_Why are we in this closet?" Rogue asked, her voice at a normal tone. She was the only one with some elbow room, for obvious reasons._

"_Shhh!" They all hissed back at her._

"_Sorry." She whispered. "Why are we in this closet?"_

"_Because," Jubes stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and using a tone of voice that suggested Rogue was a little dense for not knowing. "We don't know where they are. All we know is that they're not in this closet."_

"_Oh."_

"_So, like I was saying…" Jubilee was once more interrupted, this time by the closet door opening. Kitty looked down in surprise at the four mutants sitting in her closet._

"_Uh…hi?" She said._

"_Kitty!" They all said, as if them in the closet was the most natural thing in the world. "Join us, won't you?"_

"_Why are you in my closet?" Kitty asked, ignoring the invitation._

"_War conference," Jubilee said. "Why don't you take a seat?"_

"_I just wanted my sweater." Kitty grabbed the shirt and closed the door._

"_Right, as I was saying…again. We need something…like live bait!"_

_Instantly, all heads turned to Rogue. "What?" She asked._

…Which led to her current situation. Prowling the halls, waiting for an arm to jump out and grab her. This was insane! There is no way that-

Her silent rant was interrupted by an arm popping out of a doorway and pulling her in.

"Hey kid."

"Hey Logan, Mr. Summers," She said, putting as much defeat and resignation into her voice as she could. "What do you want me to do now?"

"Nothing." She looked at her bespectacled teacher in mild surprise.

"Just explain something for us," Logan said, glaring down at her. "What's all this about a pow-wow in a closet?"

"How do you know about the closet?" For a second, she was struck by how ridiculous this conversation would sound if someone were to walk in.

"Kid, you should know by now, we know everything." Logan said, crossing his arms. That action caused Mr. Summers hand to dangle underneath said crossed arms. It sort of lowered the intimidation factor. "Just tell your little war band that we're ready for them."

And they pushed her out the door. Seconds later, Jubilee, Bobby, and Peter rushed into the room. It was empty except for an empty bag from a costume store.

(The next Morning)

Charles had slept well that night. He had had a funny dream in which to gremlins glued a wig to his head. Funny, the way the mind works.

As he went around his morning routine, bits and pieces of the dream came back to him. One of the gremlins had been wearing glasses much resembling Scott's. The other had hair eerily similar to Logan's. Come to think of it, they were strung together by a metal chain…

_No…They wouldn't dare!_

Hardly even wanting to know, Charles put a hand up to feel his head. There was some sort of hairy thing attached to his normally bald head.

_Dear Lord, they did!_

He wheeled as fast as he could into the bathroom, where he found one of his hand towels ripped in three parallel lines and a small burn hole. Looking in the mirror, his head was covered by a rainbow colored mullet.

Sitting on the counter was a glue gun. Next to it was a simple note written in super glue on the counter.

**Have fun!**

Charles tugged the wig fruitlessly. As he wheeled out of the bathroom, he had only one thought on his mind.

_Ms. Lee had better saved a bobber for me…_


	8. Oh No They Didn't!

**Title: **Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **T or K+  
**Summery: **Scott and Logan's rivalry comes to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive

Kitty snuck furtively down the drainpipe next to her bedroom window. She ran across the lawn, and into the surrounding woods. She came to a tree-house that some of the younger children had made the previous summer and forgotten about. She looked around, as if making sure that she hadn't been followed. Then she scurried up the rope ladder and inside. Sitting against the far wall were none other than Logan and Scott. Scott was doing a crossword puzzle while Logan was looking over his shoulder and pointing out answers. Scott would give him extremely dark looks whenever he did this. Logan was also wearing a very weird helmet-looking thing.

"Morning, Kitty," Logan muttered. "Twelve across is 'Hugh Jackman', Summers."

Scott glared. "And how would you know that?"

"Because he's in that new movie…The Prestige, I think? The kids are going nuts over it."

"Oh…"

"Ahem," Kitty cleared her throat. Logan and Scott both looked up at her.

"Oh, right." Scott cleared his throut. "Do we have anything that we need her to do?"

"Get Jack Frost to the hallway outside of Summers' classroom." Logan pointed with his free hand to the puzzle again. "Four down is 'Forrest.'"

"What?" Scott looked confused. "How do you get Forrest out of 'Run (...) , run!"

"You don't watch many movies, do you, Cyke?"

"Who do you want me to get in the hall, again?" Kitty asked.

"You know, Jack Frost. Ice-man. What's his name?"

"Bobby?"

"Yes. Him." Logan nodded.

"So, I do this, and I'm in?"

"That's right, Kitty. Do this, and you're a shoe-in for becoming one of the X-men." Scott answered.

"Then, you know what you have to do after that." Logan scratched his neck. "Any questions?"

"Just one," The two hand-cuffed mutants looked up at her. Kitty looked at Logan. "Why are you wearing that geeky helmet?"

They both broke out laughing as if her question was the funniest thing in the world. Not really expecting an answer and feeling quite unnerved, she exited the tree-house. Now all she had to do was get Bobby into that hallway…

xXx

Xavier rolled down the hall. He had had enough of this foolish nonsense, and was determined to put an end to it. What he was trying to figure out was why he hadn't thought to use Cerebro before. He rolled down the basement to the end of the hall. After his eye was scanned, and the door opened, he rolled down the bridge leading to the unit. But something was missing.

When he got to the end, he realized that someone had severed the cords connecting the helmet to the main console. That, in turn, left the super-computer useless. _JEAN! ORORO!_ He thundered mentally as he left. They'd gone much too far this time. By the time the door shut behind him, both women were jogging down the hallway. He looked them both in the eyes and said, "Find them. Now."

"Charles?" Jean said quietly, as if doubting his sanity. "Are you wearing a…rainbow mullet?"

"We. Have. To. Find. Them." Charles growled through gritted teeth.

Storm blinked, looking confused. "Couldn't you just use cerebro?"

"They have completely abolished it."

Jean bit her lip. "So, I'm guessing that this would be a bad time to tell you that the Board of Education is coming to inspect the school and make sure that we're not training an army?"

Charles closed his eyes and counted to ten. It was trick he learned when he was a child. It helped get rid of frustration. "When?" He finally asked wearily.

"This afternoon."

xXx

"Why are you bringing me here again?" Bobby asked Kitty.

"You'll see," She said, pulling him by his arm towards Mr. Summers' classroom. She stopped just outside the door, and then pulled Bobby straight through it.

"Will you please tell me what's…going…?" He stopped, seeing Logan and Scott leaning idly against a wall.

"Hello there, Bobby." Scott said.

"Kitty? What's going…?" He turned just in time to see her foot vanish through the door. He pulled on the handle, just to find it locked. Suddenly feeling very small, and very defenseless, he turned to face who he was sure the last people he'd ever see. "Erm…Hi?"

"You sound a little scared," Logan smirked. The helmet to cerebro was now sitting at his feet. "Good. You should be."

Bobby gulped.

"Now," Scott said. "What's all this about Jubilation Lee organizing a resistance of some sort…?"

xXx

Jubilee, Peter, and Rogue sat around a table, all staring at the extra chair that Bobby should've filled. "He's probably just running late." Peter offered, attempting to break the silence.

"Half an hour late?" Jubilee rolled her eyes. "This is the guy who's ten minutes _early _for everything."

Their conversation was interrupted by Kitty sitting down in the empty seat. She leaned her head closer and said, "I want in…"


	9. Blown Covers

**Title: **Cuffs

**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **T or K+  
**Summery: **Scott and Logan's rivalry comes to a head in an all out prank war. Fortunately, Xavier has come up with a solution.  
**Disclaimer: **Yeah…I don't own anything.  
**Timeline: **After X2, Jean's alive  
**Chapter Title: **Blown Covers

Bobby walked into the library. It had been an hour since he'd been unofficially M.I.A. "Bobby!" Jubilee called from the table where she, Rogue, Peter, and Kitty were sitting. "You're alive!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He pulled a chair over from the table next to them.

"Because you're Mr. On-Time, and you're an hour late!"

"What?" Bobby looked at his watch. "Oh! I thought that you said ten o' clock! Not nine!"

"See?" Kitty smiled. "Everything's just fine!"

"Since when are you with us?" Bobby raised an eyebrow at her.

"Since now," She winked. Rogue was the only one who saw Bobby wink back. _What the hell? _Her inner-Logan swore. _They're up to something…_

xXx

Charles rolled down the hallway with Jean and Storm. "You know," Jean offered helpfully. "We could just dye it black. I have some hair color left over from last Halloween."

Storm laughed, and was silenced by a glare from Charles. "I hardly find this funny, Ororo." He sighed. "What are we going to do? We have three hours until the Board of Education shows comes. We have to find those two maniacs before then."

"Charles," Jean said tentatively, looking over at Storm. "What if you just gave up? Then this whole thing would be over and done with."

"No."

"Then you're just as bad as them."

Charles turned his wheel-chair around so that he was facing Storm. She was now looking like she wished that she never had spoken. "I am not stooping to their level."

"Professor!" He looked down the hall to see Rogue coming towards him. "Kurt Wagner just, uh, _poofed _in the front hall."

xXx

"Mr. Wagner, welcome back." Charles smiled.

"It is good to be back." Kurt smiled shyly. "I am only stopping for a short time, though. I came to say good bye before I go to Germany."

"Germany?" Jean asked.

"Ja, I want to find my family again."

"Well, we wish you good luck." Storm smiled. "Remember, though, once you get back, you're always welcome here."

"Thank you. I do have one question though."

"Yes?"

"Why are Herr Logan and Herr Summers handcuffed together?"

"How did you know about that?" Charles raised an eyebrow. "Did one of the students tell you?"

"Nein." Kurt shook his head. "I saw them when I was coming in. They were fighting over some newspaper."

Charles leaned in closely. "Where exactly did you see them?"

"Heading into the woods. Is there a problem?"

Charles smiled. "No, in fact, you may have just solved one of our biggest ones."

xXx

Logan watched in amusement as Scott attempted to pace. He'd walk to the right as far as the 'cuffs would allow him, then turn and do the same in the other direction. Logan was about to comment when he heard a familiar sound outside the tree house.

_Bamf_

"Summers…"

"Yeah, I heard it."

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Logan and Scott walked and peered out of the small window just in time to see Kurt Wagner and Storm _bamf _right underneath the tree house. "Holy Shit!" The two mutants jerked their heads back in.

"Logan?" Storm called, looking up in amusement at the wooden structure. "I'd know that swearing anywhere."

xXx

Bobby walked down the front stairs, and out to the fountain where Kitty was sitting on the edge. He sat next to her, and didn't say anything. Kitty spoke first. "So how come you didn't rat me out to Jubes and the others?"

"Because," Bobby smiled at her. "You don't reveal your friends to the enemy."

"That's what they wanted you for?" Kitty asked incredulously. "You're working for Logan and Mr. Summers too?"

Bobby smirked. "I want to be an X-man just as much as you do. Plus, Logan doesn't like me much anyways. So, any chance I get to get on his good side, I take." Kitty was about to respond when they both jumped around and one of the last sounds either wanted to hear.

"You guys ratted us out?" Jubilee spat. Rogue stood behind her, arms smugly crossed.

"Uh…" Both Bobby and Kitty scrambled for something to say.

"No," Jubilee said. "No! I don't want to hear it. You can tell it to the Prof!"

Bobby and Kitty stood up. "Well, we can't let you tell him."

"Oh, yeah!" Jubilee rolled her eyes. "And how do you plan on stopping us? Wait, what are you doing? You both are crazy! Just back off. You'll regret this later, I'm warning you. Stop! HOLY CRAP! ROGUE! RUN! SAVE YOURSELF!"

Which is exactly what she did.

xXx

Another short chappie. But gimme a break. I'm sick. I have a killer cold. Toodles!


	10. End of the Era

**Title: **Cuffs  
**Author: **Ultra-Geek  
**Rating: **T or K +  
**Summery: see previous chapters…  
Disclaimer: **I don't own anything  
**AN…**So I just realized that I never posted this…my bad…: )  
Anyways, this is the last chappie, so I'd like to thank:

AliasSpyCatcher, ingridmr, Twilight L. Xari, Deranged Lil' Hobbit, Shannon, StrawberriL2393, Wolf Maid, flight815surviver, Princess Pink91, Krokneze, Katelin LucaS, MyOrli, MissBe, Lucky Dragon Smile, theshadowcat, life-is-twisted, GBrisingr, I Know Your Name, Caellach Tiger Eye, BlueAutumn89, shadowcat47, Vampiress-666, Rottweiler7692, Hayes, ICan'tThinkOfAnythingCreative, andrew, FBI Bones, Dark Phoenix Rising, Ratdogtwo, She-Wolf, WCUGirl, Cassandra581, Rain in the Morning, Gynx8, Dark Hearted Angel99, stinkabhel, alycat, PsYcHoThErApY17, butterflye, Sonnenschein3085, Jennifer Jolie, Rochwen-loves-Dutchy, epewthers, The Green Bird...

And finally, thanks to WritingCritter and WritingCritter'sFriend, for all of their wonderful input and ideas for this story. Without them, there would be no muffins or mullets.

xXx

"I hope you two are happy." Charles growled. Scott and Logan sat before him, both determinedly not looking at the telepath. "You have managed to turn an otherwise peaceful school into a war zone! Children live here! You are supposed to be setting a good example! What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Logan smirked, looking up at the ceiling. "Nice hair, Chuck." Next to him, Scott let out a snort that he 'cleverly' covered with a coughing fit. Charles felt his anger rising towards a dangerous level. "You ok there, Wheels? 'Because you're turning a very nice shade of red…"

Charles was spared the duty of responding by Marie charging through the door. "Bobby and Kitty hog-tied Jubes!" She burst out. Scott and Logan exchanged looks.

"They what?" Scott raised an eyebrow, looking very much like the Professor for a moment.

"How'd you two get here?" Marie asked, confused. Then, realization dawned. "They _caught_ you, didn't they? HA! They did!"

"Yeah, yeah," Logan rolled his eyes. "Yuk it up, kid, yuk it up…"

"What, pray tell," Charles rubbed his temples, "Did you say that Mr. Drake and Ms. Pride did to Jubilee?"

Marie remembered why she was there. "They hog-tied her and hung her from a tree! They were going to do the same thing to me, but I came here to warn you that they were working for them!" She jabbed a gloved finger at Scott and Logan.

"You had the students doing the dirty work for you?" Jean walked into the room, followed by Storm.

"Define 'dirty work'" Scott air-quoted with his fingers.

"You gave the muffin to Rogue," Storm held up one finger, "To give to me."

"And, seeing as Ms. Pride was helping you, I suppose she was responsible for the music." Charles added.

"So that means that the kids were doing all of the work." Jean finished.

"Well, not all of the work." Logan protested. "We glued the wig on!"

"Congratulations." Charles said dryly.

"Hello?!" Marie jumped in again. "Does anyone care that Jubes is currently hanging from a tree?"

"What?" Storm looked thoroughly confused.

"Never mind, I'll explain later!" Charles looked at his watch. "Rogue, go with Jean and show her where Ms. Lee is, and get her down. Storm, go find Kitty Pride and Bobby Drake and see that they get appropriate punishment for hog-tying her to the tree. Good Lord, we only have half an hour until the board of Education gets here!"

"Yeah…" Scott said slowly. "…About that…"

"What?"

"They're not exactly coming."

"Elaborate, please."

"Well, we sort of had Bobby Drake call and tell Ms. Monroe that the board was coming." Scott pointed over to Logan. "It was his idea, you know! I swear!"

Charles was seriously considering breaking his code of ethics and making Scott think he was a beagle, and causing Logan to scream like a five year old girl every time he extended his claws. "Get out of my sight!"

"Chuck, just let me say something," Logan cut in. "You're breaking your promise."

"What do you mean?"

"Simple. You said that if we got along, then these damned handcuffs would be gone."

"I have yet to see you get along."

"Technically, by waging a war, we did." Scott was looking increasingly smug at Logan's plan. True, he hadn't thought of it that way before now, but the Professor didn't know that. Or did he?

Living with a psychic could be mental hell sometimes.

"…well, I suppose that's true…" The Professor rubbed his temples again. "But I really shouldn't, you know."

"That's fine," Logan stood, causing Scott to get pulled up too. "We'll just go on our business. What was the next one, again? Laxatives in pudding, wasn't it?"

"You win." Charles shuddered inwardly at the thought of a school full of children clamoring at once for a bathroom…oh the mess! He pulled a key from a drawer, and the two mutants stuck their wrists out towards him. Sighing, he put the key in the lock.

_Click. Click._

Scott and Logan rubbed their wrists. "Thank you," Scott said.

"We'll be going now." Logan and Scott went out the door, both turning right. Logan raised an eyebrow at the younger man. "You know that you don't have to follow me around anymore, right?"

xXx

Xavier noticed the change, even if it was a small one. In Danger Room sessions, one of the first things Scott would direct the others to do would be to divide Magneto's attention in as many ways as possible. Logan spent less time as the 'living magnet'.

Logan didn't make quite as many moves on Jean, and stopped encouraging students to not do their math homework.

Jubilee was found hanging from a small dog-wood tree, her back just barely touching the ground. She was yowling "I DEMAND THAT I BE CUT DOWN AT ONCE!! WHERE IS ROGUE?!?!?! I'M GOING TO KILL HER!!! WHEN I SAY RUN, I MEAN SAVE MY ASS THEN WE BOTH RUN!!!..."

Bobby and Kitty were given a couple weeks detention and the dreaded bathroom duty. It consisted of cleaning toilets, scrubbing the bathroom floors, and washing down showers. But it was worth it, because when the lists for those who would be recruited as X-men. Their names were the top ones.

Jubilee's wasn't anywhere on it. Some said it was because of her immature outlook. Others said that it was because she made Logan's life hell. But in the end, she knew, and it was because she had stood in Scott and Logan's way.

Storm walked through the mansion's halls, enjoying the quiet. It was the first time in days that she could breathe freely, without the fear of a pie flying out of a door and hitting her.

_Maybe,_ She thought to herself, _maybe they've finally learned how to get along._

Her musings were interrupted by Logan sprinting by, holding what appeared to be a wrench, a hammer, and several 2x4s. A few seconds later, before Storm had the chance to process that strange sight, there were several loud bangs, what sounded like a floor caving in, and a crash. This was followed by Scott screaming out his revenge by yelling: "LOOOOOGGGANNNN!"

_Then again, maybe not…_


End file.
